For a good laugh, here are reasons why my son cries. Then, on a serious note, check out some strategies for supporting a crying child.
I was making breakfast for my three-year-old this morning. Everything was on track. The baby was in his high chair eating Cheerios so happily and I was sipping on my coffee. I give him two choices and today he picked peanut butter on toast.
When I brought him the plate with toast and set it down in front of him, he started hysterically crying.
“What’s wrong?” I said.
He mumbled through the tears throwing his arms up in the air like the world was coming to an end. And it was!
Finally, I got him to calm down enough so that I could understand him.
“I want the toast big! I don’t want it cut!” he cried.
Are you serious? You’re crying because I cut the toast in half? Is this some kind of joke?
But it wasn’t. He was very serious and the situation was serious. So I quickly took care of it.
“Of course!” I said. I will make another piece, okay?”
“Okay,” he cried.
Phew. What’s next?
This is the kind of stress a three year puts himself under.
Stress to me is getting him to school on time. Not forgetting his lunch. Not forgetting his brother. That’s stress. Boy, do I wish the most stressful part of my day is not having my toast cut in half.
But this is one of many comical situations (that are serious to him and should be treated as much) that I have watched over the course of the last two years. I suppose it’s very real to them. But it all seems a little farfetched.
Must he have a meltdown because I don’t have any more money for the game machines? Is he going to die if I don’t put the Dustbuster away? Will he live if I run out of honey for his Greek yogurt? These are all realistic problems. But they are the problems of a three-year-old. I guess I need to tend to them like I would my own problems, although I just want to die laughing. Would I give anything to have toddler problems?
So with that said, I have decided to start a list with Reason #1 today and add to it on a regular basis. It has come to my attention that it is not going to stop any time soon. Specifically by my son. Nobody warned me. Whoever invented the Terrible two’s must’ve been out to lunch during the Threatening Threes (resulting in taking away favorite toys as consequences). Here goes…if you’re wondering “why is my son crying for no reason.”
REASONS WHY HE CRIES
1. I peeled his banana.
2. He can’t reach his pillow.
3. Doesn’t want his toast to cool down.
4. Wants to drink old water.
5. He wanted to take his allergy medicine.
6. I won’t let him wear his pajamas to school.
7. He asked for five blueberries and I gave him five blueberries.
8. I wouldn’t give him pirates booty at 8 am.
9. I made a U-turn.
10. He dropped a napkin.
11. I gave him strawberries and mangos, his favorite fruits.
12. Lego Batman’s cape got caught on his shoulder.
13. The brown sugar in his yogurt disappeared while he was stirring it.
14. I put toothpaste on his toothbrush.
15. We wouldn’t take him to Arizona when we woke up this morning (in Florida).
16. The birds were chirping.
17. My husband peeled his apple.
18. The cheese touched his broccoli.
19. Two pieces of corn touched his ketchup.
20. I won’t let him do a helicopter tour.
21. His sleeves are not flowy enough on his t-shirt.
Okay, now time to get serious…
Why Kids Cry: Understanding the Emotional World of Young Children
Crying is a normal and essential part of the emotional expression of young children, especially those aged 3-5. Parents, caregivers, and educators often encounter children crying and might wonder why it happens so frequently. Understanding the reasons behind a child’s tears can help provide appropriate emotional support and foster healthy emotional regulation skills.
The Purpose of Crying
For young kids, crying is one of the first forms of communication. From the first months of life, crying signals a baby’s needs, whether it’s hunger, discomfort, or the need for a nappy change. As children grow, their crying evolves into a more complex emotional expression, encompassing a wide range of feelings from frustration to sadness, and even joy.
Common Reasons for Crying
- Big Feelings and Little Disappointments: Young children experience big feelings, and even small things can seem like a big deal. An upset child might cry over a slight injury or a small thing that didn’t go their way. These little disappointments can lead to big emotional reactions because children are still learning to manage their emotions.
- Temper Tantrums: Temper tantrums are common in younger kids, particularly between the ages of 2 and 5. These outbursts occur when a child feels overwhelmed by their emotions. Taking deep breaths and giving the child a safe place to express their feelings can help them calm down.
- Physical Discomfort: Signs of pain, such as ear infections or slight injuries, are common triggers for crying. Persistent crying can sometimes be the first sign of a serious illness or severe pain, requiring medical attention.
- Emotional Expression: Crying is a child’s way of expressing feelings of frustration, sadness, or even happiness. Sensitive kids, in particular, may cry more often due to their sensitive nature. It’s essential to acknowledge a crying child’s feelings, whether they’re sad over a toy or happy at a birthday party.
- Behavioral State Changes: Changes in routine, such as starting at state schools or having a new baby in the family, can lead to emotional reactions. Regular bedtimes and quiet time can help children adjust to these changes.
Supporting a Crying Child
When a child cries, the first thing to do is to offer emotional support. This can involve making eye contact, offering a hug, and acknowledging the child’s feelings. It’s also a good idea to help them take deep breaths to calm down.
Here are some strategies for supporting a crying child:
- Create a Safe Place: Ensure that the child has a quiet and safe place to express their emotions.
- Lavish Praise: Praise the child when they manage to express their emotions in appropriate ways.
- Model Emotional Regulation: Show children how to handle their own emotions by modeling calm behavior and discussing feelings openly.
- Offer Comfort: Sometimes, a hug or simply sitting with the child can be enough to help them feel better.
Understanding Individual Differences
Children’s reasons for crying can vary based on their age, personality traits, and developmental stages. Some children are naturally more sensitive and may cry more often. It’s crucial to understand that this is a normal response and not necessarily a bad thing.
New parents might find it challenging to deal with a crying child, especially for the first time. It’s important to remember that crying is a child’s need and a healthy way for them to express themselves.
When to Seek Help
While crying is a normal part of childhood, there are times when it can indicate underlying issues. Persistent crying, signs of severe pain, or behavioral state changes might require attention from health visitors or a clinical psychologist. Additionally, excessive crying can sometimes be a sign of sensory processing disorder or even child abuse.
The Role of Parents and Educators
Parents and educators spend a lot of time with young children and play a crucial role in helping them develop coping skills. By providing emotional support and understanding, they can help children learn to manage their emotions effectively. This involves recognizing when a child needs comfort and when they might benefit from a little space to calm down.
Crying in young children is a complex emotional response influenced by a variety of reasons. By understanding and supporting their emotional needs, we can help children develop healthy ways to express and regulate their emotions, laying the foundation for good mental health in their future.
