I had planned for this trip for months. I was so excited to get Media Passes and use this perk for my blog. MONTHS! I tell you! MONTHS! There has to be a guide or user manual for planning the actual planning for your Disney Trip, right? I read about the apps, the wait times, the restaurants, the parades, the hotels, but somehow I think I should of had a plan for the plan. Because the plan kinda, sorta, fell through.
We made it in one piece. No body was injured. There were no broken bones. No fights over music selection and only one stop in four hours. We had a bathroom stop and were able to avoid the 50 fast food restaurants inside along with the stores with all the Disney paraphernalia. We hadn’t even gotten there and we were already being bombarded with junk food and Disney stuff when all I wanted to do was pee and get coffee so I would have to pee again.
We also made it on time. I picked up $35 in just snacks for the four hour trip. With kids, it’s all about the snacks. Maybe I over purchased snacks subconsciously since I had just started the Smart For Life diet – aka the “cookie diet” one week prior to my trip.
What was I thinking?
Did I really think it was a good idea to go to the happiest place on earth while on a diet? Well, yes, I did. If I hadn’t of started the week before, I’m afraid I would of disappeared into the candy store at Disney and my family and security would find me in a sugar coma curled up in the fetal position right next to the cotton candy stand. It WAS necessary.
So I packed a few boxes of my high fiber, high protein, low sugar cookies and with help from Brenda, the awesome nurse at Smart For Life’s office, I brought along a few protein bars and decided to make the best of it.
When we got to the “Luxury Hotel” that my husband had booked across from Downtown Disney, we were a little confused. I didn’t remember it being a 20 minute walk to Downtown Disney. In fact, the last time, we just walked out of the hotel and crossed the street and we were there. And I certainly don’t remember Bargain World being our view from the Hotel. My husband had made a mistake. A BIG mistake. Bless his little confused, excited for the trip, over zealous heart. Gotta love a man who takes charge! Next time, I will be booking the hotel.
The spacious, beautiful room that we envisioned from our last stay was a little different this time. I thought the price was a little low but didn’t question it. And it didn’t take 20 minutes to walk to Downtown Disney. It took twenty minutes to drive!
But we found it at and were able to find a restaurant that could take us right away, in the corner, next to the bar, but right away. We were starving after this trip.
The next morning my husband planned on doing the buffet breakfast and had been talking about it for a while. But once again, our plans were dashed as we woke up a half hour before the bus came to do the pick up for Magic Kingdom. The poor kids didn’t even have a proper breakfast. Chex Mix and veggie sticks would have to do. The couple sitting next to us looked wide eyed, showered, and ready for Disney. We looked like we just rolled out of bed, which we had.
When we got on the bus, we had to find a place for the stroller, and as much of a commotion that was going on with the kids and the placement of the stroller, I would not let go of my coffee in my hand. And of course people were just staring at me with coffee in hand while trying to shuffle the kids around and find seats. That coffee wasn’t going anywhere!
“Don’t worry, I’m good.” I thought looking at the blank faces starting at me. Where are the helpful people when you need them? Well, I can assure you, they are not hanging out on Disney buses.
But then a woman offered to hold my coffee while we placed the stroller.
Then all of a sudden as the bus was moving I smelled something awful. I was holding Oliver on my lap. As I looked around, I saw a young Asian girl almost dry heaving covering her mouth and nose.
My son had decided to poop while on the bus. That was a long, stinky, ride for everyone and for some reason there weren’t any toddlers on the bus so I felt really singled out.
“Babies poop and yes, MY baby pooped!” I wanted to scream at all the blank faces.
Hasn’t anyone ever smelled a dirty diaper?
Once we got in, I went straight to Starbucks. Now, I’m not sure if Disney owns this particular Starbucks but at the pace they were serving coffee, by the time I got to the counter to order, I was already going through caffeine withdrawals from the coffee on the bus and as I stood in line, I wondered where they had a charger to charge my phone. With Oliver, my youngest in the stroller sleeping (thank you Jesus), I noticed the magnificent specialty pastries starting right at me through the glass cage as if they were being held hostage and needed my help rescuing them. A fleeting thought came to me that maybe “one” cupcake wouldn’t be so bad, after all they are so big I would just eat half and give the other half to Nicolas or Henri. My conversation in my head went on for about 10 minutes.
Was the chocolate better than the vanilla? What were those things on top? How did the icing taste? Would it be the same as traditional Starbucks icing or special “Disney Icing? Should I just screw the diet and get a Nonfat Caramel Macchiato with whip (to even out the nonfat)?
“What can I get you?” the hundred year old lady asked me wearing a little house on the prairie outfit. Somehow my Starbucks experience was disrupted, not only for my wallet but visually too.
What happened to the hip college students that usually serve me? Or the gay guy that compliments me on my jewelry? The banter we usually have?
There would be no banter with this one. It was get your coffee and move to the right and wait patiently in the huddle of people, like a herd of sheep. And don’t make a sound in case they call your name and you don’t hear it and you have to get back in line just to ask where your coffee is because the workers at the coffee bar are working so hard like little ants picking up crumbs and moving them to the other side. And I wasn’t even waiting for something fancy. A regular ice coffee is what I was waiting for. No sugar, no cream.
Thanks Smart For Life. Thanks a lot. That was really worth it.
So we made our way to “It’s A Small World” so I could relive the past with my children and have high expectations that they would fall in love with it as I did when I was younger.
Eh. I think Henri wanted shooting guns, maybe some superheroes mixed in there, or the boat to move a little faster. Like the speed of a rocket. Oliver, however, loved it.
We went on “Splash Mountain.” Just Henri and I.
Now we’re talking. A little bonding mother/son time.
He loved it and before the ride was over said, “Can we go again?”
Thrill seeker? I think so!
Now my Ollie who is less than two wasn’t really phased by any of this nonsense but because he has a slightly unhealthy obsession with Buzz Lightyear and Toy Story. I thought it would be nice to get a picture with his one of his favorite characters.
It did not go as planned. AT ALL.
The problem was not standing in line. The problem was the dear, sweet, little girl who was playing with her new Buzz Lightyear toy and antagonizing my Oliver. Well, she really wasn’t antagonizing him, I just need someone to blame for the complete meltdown he had watching her play with a toy that he thought he should clearly have right away. Needless to say, he was not happy to meet Woody and Jesse.
So we went to the Toy Story area where one can buy souvenirs so we could please our little Ollie. We got him a spinning Buzz Lightyear and I moved away so my husband could try and talk my other four year old into changing his mind with a toy that needed batteries right away. The waling started. Then the tears. He just couldn’t understand why he couldn’t get the remote control helicopter. But us being able to see in our crystal ball, knew that he would expect it to work right away and there would be a major meltdown. And no, we didn’t want to deal with a remote control helicopter at Disney. No thanks.
As my husband was trying to calmly explain all this to Henri, while Henri just repeated “I want the helicopter over and over again”, Oliver saw the Buzz Lightyear toy Henri was also holding in his hand and starting waling again. As he was pointing to Henri crying and I was trying to move the stroller out of his vision without losing my husband, I sent “rageful eye signals” to my husband. Usually he catches on pretty fast. But not this time. I saw him trying to negotiate with Henri while Oliver screamed hysterically.
Finally, all was well when Henri came back with his new Buzz Lightyear Toy that Oliver now wanted. It was wonderful. The crying just escalated and I wondered if I was going to lose my mind.
I sent my husband back to get the same toy for Oliver and we came home with three Buzz Lightyears. Everyone was happy.
Finally, it was lunch time and we walked up to a nice restaurant with a hostess standing outside. We thought maybe there would be a half-hour wait. But, no, to our delight, there was a two hour wait.
Now this was not fine dining. This was a place just to sit down where maybe I could have a salad. But it wasn’t going to happen. The place that was moving the fastest was a burger place with the amazing french fries and ice cream parlor on the left as you walk out to remind you that even though you haven’t started eating, your not finished until you come back and have a fancy ice cream sundae with a cherry on top.
I took a bite out of my peanut butter “cookie” and watched the family eat french fries and mini hot dogs that tormented my senses and were saying, “eat me! eat me!” I”m a mini hot dog! I don’t count! My husband ordered the a hot dog and mini corn dogs and said they were delicious, much better than they had been in the past. The price was also surprising low. So while everyone was enjoying their affordable, high quality food, I was so envious. But as they “nothing tastes better than skinny feels.”
I stayed strong and tried to find more water. I was told to drink a lot of water while eating these cookies. But I got tired of drinking and running to the restroom every half hour. So I cut back on the water. And my belly starting getting bloated.
We stopped off for one more ride. Nicolas took Henri and Oliver by himself, because he loves to take risks and live dangerously. I sat on the bench, watching people pass by with a fancy ice cream parfait dessert. It seemed like everyone had them. I wondered if they were really that good as I licked the wrapper to my melted chocolate protein bar and waited for them.
As we were walking out of Magic Kingdom, my husband took Henri to the bathroom. As I was leaving the security guard struck up a conversation with me. I told him that the other two were in the bathroom and coming out. He looked at my belly and said, “so how many kids do you have?”
I said back to him,”two, and I’m not pregnant, just fat. Actually I’m on a diet and having some issues, if you know what I mean.” He had honest eyes. The kind you want to confess your problems too.
Now the guy was good looking and I don’t know what possessed me to talk about my “issues” but he perked right up and started talking about how his wife is always on a different diet and that her gas is so bad from changing it up so much, he has to leave the room. He asked where we were coming from and I said I was local and I felt like I just got into “the cool club” and we discussed gas and constipation issues some more. Then my husband came up and it was time to leave. I thanked him for the enlightening conversation and my husband accused me of flirting.
Times have really changed if that’s flirting.
We walked all the way to the bus stop and finally sat down on the bench only to wait an hour for the bus when Ollie pooped again. So Nicolas went back to the bathroom outside Magic Kingdom to change him while I tried to entertain a very tired, wired, Henri.
While he was gone there was an argument across the street and people were yelling at a limo driver. It got heated and people kept going up to him yelling and he stood there with his partner and didn’t move. When Nicolas came back I pointed them out so he conveniently took a stroll across the street to eavesdrop because our life must not exciting enough as it is. Then finally the police showed up but unfortunately we will never know what happened and will have to move on with our hum drum lives back to Deerfield Beach.
We got back to the hotel and Henri and I went on a date and had dinner in the dining room. It was kind of a fancy restaurant and sweet to see my son in that environment. He had nuggets and I had a salad and we took a burger to the room for Nicolas. All was well and we slept hard.
The next day we planned on spending the day at Downtown Disney but our plans were once again stopped short because Henri was sick. He just didn’t seem himself and even asked to go home.
We all piled into the car, stopped at Publix for water for the trip and then Dunkin Donuts for coffee and back on the road. Henri threw up all over himself and we had to pull over on the free way.
Plans never go as planned. Why plan? This was our first family vacation. Nothing happened the way we wanted or expected. It was even better than that because we made our own unique memories. Nobody else will ever own those memories. We can laugh about things that only our family will understand. Because we have that bond. Until the next trip…