Five Reasons Why Men Date Older Women. Yes, I’m a Cougar.
Blog - May 14, 2016

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I was on the rebound from the last relationship when I met my husband.  The ex boyfriend was about ten years younger than me.  I thought he was the “one.”  I met him on Match.com.  He was mysterious, very well put together (designer everything), cultured and charming.  He said he was in Central America working but would be in Miami soon.  First red flag.  Why are you looking for women in the U.S. if you work in Central America?  I clearly ignored that.  But I thought of it as mysterious, not shady.

Then I found out he had a big secret.  By Valentines Day he told me his father had been the President of his country at one time.  He dropped a BOMB.  It all started to come together.  It was a whirlwind romance and destined to fail.  I thought he was romantic because his favorite flowers were tulips.  I thought it was romantic to spend $100 on a taxi to come and see me.  I was wrong.  He was just rich.  He wasn’t ready for a commitment.  But he didn’t want to date women from his country because they were all after his money.  It wasn’t his age.  It was his lack of  maturity.  Alas, I was finally stuck with the realization that I would NOT be the next first lady of this country.  I had pictured his Golden Retriever in our family portrait already.  All of a sudden my Spanish was improving.  Until he told me he was going to school in England.  Second red flag that I ignored.

Thanks for the heads up.

When I came back from England from visiting him, he said he had a surprise for me. He told me that he would be interning in Miami for the summer and that we could finally be together.  He stopped by for a couple days and said he would call or email soon when he returned to his country for two weeks.  Well two weeks came and went. Third red flag.  He just didn’t care about me or my feelings.  So I sent him an email and told him never to contact me again.  I was done.

I think that day was pivotal for me.  It symbolized so much.  First, it symbolized freedom.  I no longer had to put up with men that didn’t respect me.  I had been in many relationships where I was not treated respectfully or felt like I was not important but I stayed out of fear of not getting any better.  Second, I no longer had to repeat the cycle of breaking up/making up like I had recently done with this last  boyfriend.  I enjoyed the drama of it all but in the end I was miserable.  It was a power trip for both of us.  Most of my relationships lasted about two months and then we would break up.  And then make up.  Break up. Make up.  And the cycle continued until now.

Then my husband came along.  I knew I would not find any better.  And I finally believed I deserved to be happy and treated like a princess.  He was the one.  So I put myself in therapy asap.  I was not about to mess up another relationship. He was worth it.  I would later find out that I was the one that would have to change to be happy in my marriage and all my relationships.

Nicolas, my now husband asked to meet me for coffee and I told him that he was too young (freshly scorned I had learned my lesson).  Ten years was too much.  He also had longer hair than me and unless he was the lead singer of Metallica, the eighties had called and wanted their hair style back.

He cut his hair for me.  So yes, he was perfect.  But he was young so I was prepared to mold him.  Change him.  Control him.  Until he told me he was French.  But not until I was about to walk out the door to meet him.   Scrrreeeeeeeeeech.  Hold up. Uh oh.  THIS was going to be work!

I thought he was arrogant.  He thought I was wrong.  It took years for us to get to a good place where we didn’t bicker over ridiculous things.  Children will do that to you.  They end up being your teachers.  I can’t say anything now without reconsidering the consequences.  My husband is also my teacher.  He is my soul mate and the best husband and father I know.  Thank God I winked back on Match.com.

So I’m posting this article attached to the post because it interested me and when I asked my husband why he liked older women, he pretty much got 4 out of 5 of the answers right.  With my experience with the previous younger boyfriends, what they lacked was maturity.  What I found with my husband is that he is sometimes more mature than myself.  He is an old soul with a younger body.   Enjoy!

Click here to find out why men like ’em old

27 Comments

  1. I thoroughly enjoyed reading this article. I do see younger men are much more interested in me than older. Although I have dabbled, it just wouldn’t work. My current boyfriend of over 5 years is twice my age. We learn fro each other every single day. He is truly an Angel sent to me. I have to say all of my (4) serious relationships have been with older men. I intend to keep this one forever. We are happy just being next to each other, no expectations, best friends.

  2. You never know how mature someone is going to be but it’s great not to worry about age and if someone is younger or older it all depends on who you connect with and of course finding someone who will respect you, whether young or old. I say if it’s right, go for it.

  3. I loved your story. Sounds like you have had a pretty interesting life. I’m glad that you finally met and married the love of your life….

  4. What a great story and am happy I read this and very happy that you have met and loving your soul mate, I hope I can find mine soon..

  5. I did the break-up/make-up in 2 relationships even though I probably knew both relationships were doomed in first 6mths I stick it out because my love was enuf to change them. After both failed and I am closer to 40 than 18 I finally realized that I was the who needed to change!!

  6. great story. I’m divorced and no rush to be in any type of relationship. I do have a friends with benefits and he just turned 30. It works.

  7. Great article! I dated younger men when I was younger and did the break up/make up many times till I got into therapy! I’ve been married over 20 years to a man who is 9 years OLDER than me. Glad you found your forever man.

  8. Very interesting!! I have always attracted younger men as well and never knew why lol!! I always thought it was so strange since supposedly they mature later than us!!

  9. Thanks for the post…you reminded me why I am SO happy to be out of the dating pool. I found so many freaks and weirdos online before finally finding my husband (as soon as I had given up).

  10. Great story! with the exception of my ex-husband and one other guy, i’ve only dated younger men (sometimes MUCH younger). Its not that I am not attracted to men my age or older, but they never seem to be attracted to me, so whatever! LOL

  11. (Five Reasons Why Men Date Older Women. Yes, I’m a Cougar.) My husband is six years younger then I am, we have been married for eighteen years now. It’s been all good so far-

    1. That’s because they are after the guys money more than likely, and sure not what he has down south! 🙂

  12. I think some men have what is called a mommy complex & that is why they want to date older women. Personally age is just a state of mind. We all have free will.

  13. im not on match but hi five and had over 10 hit me up and some were younger told them i do not do younger men i am 60 and wilkl not date a 40 year my kid and they promise me the moon and back and then ask for you to send money no and then can you take care of my kid i send them to you hell no but i am going to go for older i am not gettingmarreid but stay single

  14. Before I met my hubby I tried dating younger men a few times but it never seemed to work out. It was usually a lack of maturity issue on their part and a lack of tolerance for immaturity on mine. After my last dating fiasco I swore off men until I met my hubby a few years later. That was fourteen years ago. He is three years older than me and my perfect match. So glad I’m not in the dating game anymore 🙂

  15. I used to call this “the difference between Mr. Right and Mr. Right Now”. Boy are they fun though.

  16. I enjoyed your story. I happen to be 6 years older than my husband. I am now 42 and he is 36. We have been married 11 years this year. We have had our ups and downs and he has had to mature a lot over the years, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

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