I Don’t want Crystals, I want Pistols!
Blog - October 10, 2018

It’s one of those days.  You know, Fall Break kind of days.  The kids usually ask, “what are we going to do today?” when they get in the car after school.  At that point I say, well, “I think we will take a Disney cruise, stop off at the candy shop, maybe go to Legoland and end the day with Universal Studios.  Because boys, I’m here to entertain YOU!

Uh, no.

I have all the tools for them to play.  I have arts and crafts galore.  We have a back yard and stuff to do in the back yard.  They have a blogger mom.  It’s non stop entertainment because of that in itself.

There’s always stuff to do.

Until you have 10 days of nonstop free time.  Then suddenly there’s nothing to do.

I’m trying to give them some structure;  go home, have a snack, do homework, play, dinner, read a book and bed.

This week is different.  There’s no school.  FOR 10 DAYS!

So, I made plans to meet a friend at a park.  After, we hit a Mediterranean restaurant and later went to a crystal store to buy crystals.

At this point the kids were tired and a little sugared up.  So, taking them to a store full of crystals seemed like a logical thing to do.

My friend said to both of the kids, “now kids, this is a calm place full of crystals;  we have to be quiet and do not touch anything.”

My son blurts out, “I don’t want crystals, I want pistols!” We thought that was  hilarious until he swung open the car door and it hit the car next to us putting a beautiful dent and scratch on it. I just about died.

So, now I walk in to this calming, healing place while I’m having a panic attack about what to do about this situation.

I yelled at my son.  He wasn’t careful.  He didn’t pay attention. He was careless. I’ve told him a million times to be careful when opening the car door. It used to be on safety lock but now with drop off, we had to change that.

I was so angry.

Realizing I couldn’t shop for crystals knowing what just happened, I ran back out of the store with him to go take a picture and maybe find the owner of the car.  The people in the store looked shaken at how I left the store.  They knew something was up. I’m sure they felt my energy and it’s wasn’t good energy.

I went outside with my son, took a picture and yelled at him some more.  We were going to have to pay for it, for sure.  I would want someone to do the same for me.  It’s just the way it is.  I could just walk away and no one would know.  But I would know and my son would see how I handled it.  Would he really be affected by this? I think so.

So, we went back into the store.  The lady working there asked us if we were okay. I said no.  I told her that we were looking for the owner of this car that my son accidentally dinged.  She looked over to the other lady working there who heard me complaining about my son hitting the car.  She said, “yes, that’s my car.”

We all walked outside to check out the car.  My son followed us.  She looked at it and moved her finger over the dent and cleaned it off.  I was anxious to hear what she said.

I told her I would pay for the damage and that I wanted to give her my info.

She said it wasn’t that bad.  But I gave her my card.  I told her that my son needed to understand a lesson in all this.  So, she took my card but didn’t want to pursue anything.

He apologized to her.  He even gave her tiny crystals he had found at the park as a nice gesture.

We went back to the store.  He wanted to get some crystals.  He was shuffling his hands through a bowl of tiny crystals, got up and hit his head.  It hurt.  I felt the thud.

The tears came and I rubbed his head and held  him.  The woman came to me with a bag of ice and I thanked her.

He wanted a special crystal.  But it was really expensive and I asked her if she had something smaller.  She came back and gave him a beautiful crystal.  It was exactly what he wanted.  He was thrilled. He held it and floated with happiness.

So, what kind of lesson is this?  I’m not sure if it was a lesson for him but instead a lesson for me.  I witnessed something that we don’t often see these days.  Genuine kindness.

My son scratched this lady’s car and instead of making a fuss about it, she hugged him.  She told him that it was okay.  Then she turned around a gave him a gift.

This was my son’s first experience getting a crystal.  What could have been a negative memory was turned into something joyful.  He will remember her and this act of kindness always.

 

 

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It reminds me of when we had beach clean up in Florida and and my younger son was looking for seashells.  He didn’t really want to be there.  It was hot and he didn’t really understand the importance of picking up trash off the beach.  He had just turned four.

Then this man passed by and said to him, “hey! is this your first beach clean up?” And my son said, “yes.”

He knelt down and handed my son the most magnificent seashell I’ve ever seen just collected off the beach and said, “well, now you will always remember it. ”

Kindness.  It can really be a game changer. Just one gesture can change someones perspective on life.  How do you teach your children kindness?

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